Looking for a way to communicate with your household without resorting to yelling or passive-aggressive fridge notes? Behold the Vestaboard! For a mere £3249, this “award-winning messaging display” promises to “inspire” your family, team members, or highly intimidated guests.

That’s right—for the price of a small, pre-owned car, you can now send and schedule crucial messages like “Milk is expired” or “Take out the bin, Brian” from anywhere in the world. Why use a simple text message when you can utilise a stunning focal point that flaps its mesmerising mechanical characters at everyone? It’s the ultimate shared messaging experience. Imagine the awe as it schedules a reminder for ‘Taco Tuesday.’ Finally, a sophisticated, highly expensive solution for incredibly mundane communication. Your gent’s gift just got a serious upgrade.