For the gentleman who measures his self-worth by the weight of his daily carry, meet the Machine Era Co Art Series Field Bolt Pen (£75). This isn’t just a writing implement; it’s essentially a fidget spinner for grown-ups who appreciate Swiss-type turning techniques.

Featuring hand-drawn, laser-engraved art on a Grade 5 titanium clip, it looks rugged enough to sign a peace treaty in the wilderness. The bolt action mechanism is buttery smooth—perfect for satisfyingly deploying your Pilot G2 ink or aggressively annoying your colleagues during a silent meeting. Balanced, bombproof, and frankly, too good for your grocery list.