Tired of birds freeloading crumbs off your patio? Upgrade their dining experience with the JamDesignUK Handcrafted Bird Table (£37.99) – because even our feathered friends deserve a touch of civilisation. This isn’t just a feeder; it’s a miniature picnic table, complete with bench seats for avian socialising. Finally, a place for them to discuss the day’s worm haul in comfort.

It even boasts a retractable umbrella, presumably for those birds who prefer a little shade while they brunch. Two ceramic bowls are included for their gourmet seed and water selection. Attaching easily to a fence post, this charmingly absurd creation is handcrafted with care, ensuring a durable and aesthetically pleasing addition to your garden. Now, if only it came with tiny bird-sized napkins.