If your current hobby involves shouting at traffic or looking pensively at your savings account, it’s time for an upgrade. We present the Grain Build Your Own Arctic Shearwater Surfboard kit, the ultimate test of patience and commitment—perfect for the gentleman who insists he’s “good with his hands.” Originating from the coast of Maine, this DIY kit arrives in two large boxes and demands approximately 40 hours of your undivided attention. Yes, 40 hours.

For $975, you’re not just buying a board that glides like its short-tailed shearwater namesake; you’re buying forty hours of therapeutic sanding and gluing, successfully escaping your spouse and the modern world. The finished product is a beautiful, wooden mid-length board, designed for effortless speed and ease—ideal whether you’re sizing up or down. Just remember: if it snaps on the first wave, you only have yourself to blame.