Gentlemen, if your mornings currently involve a sad, watery approximation of coffee, it’s time for an intervention. Enter the Fellow Series 1 Espresso Machine ($1399.95), the sleek, sophisticated answer to your espresso prayers. This isn’t just a machine; it’s a declaration that you’re done with mediocrity and ready to embrace liquid gold.

Fellow has distilled the dark arts of professional espresso into a design so stunningly simple, even a chimpanzee could pull a perfect shot (results may vary). But don’t let its beginner-friendly facade fool you; this beast is expert-ready. Thanks to its patented Boosted Boiler heating system with three independent elements, you’ll go from bleary-eyed to brewing in under two minutes, with to-the-degree temperature stability that banishes sour shots to the abyss.

Consistency, that elusive unicorn of home espresso, is now your obedient steed. Dial in that perfect profile – from pressure to temperature to flow – save it, and replicate it endlessly. You can even mimic shots from commercial machines, because why shouldn’t your kitchen smell like a high-end café? Whether you’re a complete novice following on-screen prompts or a seasoned enthusiast tweaking every variable, the Series 1 is your ticket to espresso enlightenment. Plus, for a limited time, you can snag $100 off and a $100 Fellow Drops credit. Your taste buds (and your morning swagger) will thank you.