So, you’ve conquered the urban jungle and now fancy a crack at actual wilderness? Well, Bradley Mountain and White’s Boots have teamed up to create the ultimate footwear for… contemplating. Their $675 Mountain Hiker boots are so meticulously crafted, you’ll probably be too scared to scuff them. Imagine: “Oh no, not a pebble! These artisanal stitches!” This glorious collaboration blends White’s legendary ruggedness with Bradley Mountain’s minimalist vibe, resulting in a boot that’s equally at home scaling Everest or perched on a very stylish shoe rack.

Featuring full-grain leather, hand-finished stitchdown construction, and waxed canvas details, they scream “vintage outdoor adventurer” while whispering “please don’t get me muddy.” Each pair is lovingly handmade in Spokane, WA, and comes with its own waxed canvas sleeping bag (for the boots, not you). But hurry! Only a limited few will be available for pre-order. So, if you’re looking for a gift that says, “I appreciate fine craftsmanship but also secretly hope you stay indoors,” look no further. Just try not to actually hike in them, okay? Your wallet will thank you.