Right chaps, another Monday morning, another avalanche of digital notifications threatening your sanity. Feeling overwhelmed? Perhaps it’s time for a tactical retreat… to paper. Yes, paper! Introducing the UGMONK Analog Premium Weekly Kit, a startlingly simple way to reclaim your week. For £61, you get a year’s supply of hefty cardstock week-planners and a rather handsome solid walnut stand to prop them up. No charging cables, no software updates, no baffling cloud sync issues – just pure, unadulterated analog clarity.

Plot your week’s objectives, use the dot grid on the back for highly important doodles during Zoom calls, and feel smugly organised. It’s the perfect gift for the gent yearning for simpler times, or just someone who appreciates a beautiful piece of Pennsylvanian-made wood on their desk that isn’t another charging dock. Revolutionary, isn’t it?