Let’s talk candles, fellas. Specifically, the Wood Cabin Candle Co. Winchester Candle for a mere seventeen quid. Now, you might be thinking, “Seventeen quid for a candle? Is it made of solid gold and imbued with the wisdom of the ancients?” And to that, I say, maybe! Because this isn’t your aunt Mildred’s lavender relaxation stick.

No, this scent profile is for the man who appreciates the finer, more… explosive things in life: Smoked White Oak, Gunpowder, and Tobacco Leaf. That’s right, gunpowder. Not “a hint of a faint memory of a distant firework display,” but actual gunpowder. Apparently, it’s designed to evoke a “journey back in time.” Presumably, to a time when men settled disputes with duels and their homes smelled vaguely of a freshly discharged musket. Finally, a candle that says, “I’m not just relaxing; I’m preparing for the next skirmish, metaphorically speaking.”

It’s hand-poured in the USA, boasts a crackling wooden wick (because silence is overrated, and who doesn’t love the soothing sound of a miniature log fire?), and burns for 50+ hours. That’s a lot of simulated historical adventure. And don’t forget the custom coaster! Because even when you’re channelling your inner frontiersman, we still need to protect the mahogany.

Now, they do offer some rather serious burning instructions. “Trim your wick!” they bellow. “Let it burn!” they command. “Stay safe!” they practically beg. And then, the ultimate paradox: “Know when to quit.” So, it’s an ode to rugged individualism, but also a stern reminder not to accidentally set your ancestral home ablaze. It’s a real tightrope walk, this candle business. But for seventeen pounds, smelling like a gentleman who just won a very polite, very historical gunfight? Priceless.