Gentlemen, if your man cave is looking less like a shrine to awesome and more like an ode to “oops, I bought another generic sports poster,” then we’ve found your next grand slam. Behold, the Pillbox Bat Co Philadelphia Phillies “Portraits” Bat ($650).

This isn’t just any baseball bat; it’s a hand-painted masterpiece, a limited-edition (only 100 exist!) ode to the 2025 Philadelphia Phillies heroes. Designed by the legendary Keith Shore (whose art usually graces beer cans and galleries – clearly, a man of refined tastes), this 34-inch ash hardwood beauty features your favourite Phillies phenoms: Harper, Stott, Turner, Castellanos, Schwarber, and Bohm. Imagine the conversations this will spark! “Oh, that old thing? Just a limited-edition art bat featuring baseball’s finest, hand-painted by a world-renowned artist. No biggie.”

Crafted in Winona, Minnesota, each bat is individually engraved with its edition number and Shore’s signature, making it practically a collector’s item before you even get it out of the box. Now, while we’re told these bats use “high-quality hand-split wood,” they’re “un-weighed and untested for game use.”

So, unless your rec league is particularly forgiving about artistic integrity over batting average, we recommend displaying this bad boy with pride (and maybe some bat hangers from Pillbox). It’ll certainly intimidate opponents, even if only from your wall. Officially licensed and undeniably cool, this bat is the perfect gift for the Phillies fanatic who has everything—except, perhaps, a work of art they can also pretend to hit a home run with.