Gentlemen, are you still clinging to the notion that true masculinity is measured by the sheer volume of pockets on your cargo shorts? It’s 2025! It’s time to lighten your load and elevate your hydration game with the AllTrails x Topo Designs Mountain Hydro Sling ($39). This isn’t just a fancy fanny pack’s cooler cousin; it’s a statement. A statement that says, “Yes, I enjoy a refreshing beverage on my adventures, and no, I don’t need my entire toolkit to carry it.” Designed to “roam far and pack light,” this sling is practically begging you to ditch that cumbersome backpack.

It’ll comfortably cradle your trusty 32 oz water bottle, leaving your hands free for more important tasks, like dramatically pointing at scenic vistas or expertly navigating a tricky trail with a single, nonchalant finger. With a paracord cinch, front mesh pocket (with its own cinch!), and a zippered back pocket, it’s got enough compartments for your keys, wallet, and perhaps a very small, emergency artisanal cheese.

Plus, with its adjustable, removable shoulder strap and even detachable Velcro bike attachment loops, this sling is more versatile than your last-minute excuse for missing spin class. Made from 100% recycled nylon, it’s good for the planet and even better for your street cred. So, leave the bulky baggage behind and embrace the elegant efficiency of the Mountain Hydro Sling. Your back (and your style) will thank you.