Tired of sporting the same mass-produced plastic shades as literally everyone else? Do you yearn for eyewear that whispers “I own a canoe and occasionally whittle” rather than “I buy in bulk”? Then prepare your face for the magnificent Shwood Prescott Wood Sunglasses (a steal at £113).

These aren’t just sunglasses; they’re “The Original Wood Sunglasses,” now boasting a ludicrously impressive 33% stronger construction thanks to an upgraded carbon fibre laminate. Yes, carbon fibre and wood – because why settle for one fancy material when you can have two? With their sweeping browline and rectangular lenses, they exude a “calm, confident appeal,” perfect for hiding the fact you’re still thinking about last night’s questionable pizza. Ideal for most face shapes (unless your head is, like, a dodecahedron), they come with premium CR-39 lenses offering 100% UVA/UVB protection, ensuring your eyes are as protected as your effortlessly cool reputation. Plus, you get a custom travel case and a microfiber cloth – because even rugged individualism deserves a clean lens.