Tired of juggling your essentials, snacks, and that ever-crucial can of liquid courage while attempting to look effortlessly cool? Gentlemen, allow us to introduce the Monti Cubbie Hip Cooler ($89.99), the sartorial solution to all your hands-free, hydration-on-the-go needs. Whether you’re gracefully wading a creek, bravely navigating the chaotic delights of a music festival, or simply battling the urban jungle’s concrete wilderness, The Cubbie is your new best mate.

This isn’t just a glorified fanny pack; it’s a “game-changer” (especially for parents, apparently, so you can finally stash those emergency juice boxes discreetly). Load it up with four of your favourite cans and still have room for your valuables – keys, wallet, or perhaps a small, emergency miniature trophy. The insulated pouch keeps your beverages colder than your ex’s heart, and the waterproof liner ensures no embarrassing sweat patches ruin your carefully curated look. With a handy grab handle and a secure belt band, you can chill with your Cubbie anywhere. Plus, there’s a Velcro patch for “customisation.” We suggest adding a tiny, embroidered crown – because your hip beverages deserve nothing less than VIP treatment.