Forget your fancy lavender and sea breeze nonsense, fellas. If you want your bachelor pad to truly scream masculinity, you need the Tallgrass Cattleman Candle ($50). Inspired by Texan cattle drives of yesteryear, this bad boy promises to fill your abode with the essence of the American West.

Now, we’re not entirely sure what that smells like, but the description mentions beef and “men who work herds.” So, maybe imagine a faint whiff of brisket mingling with… hard work? They say it’s 100% soy wax and hand-poured, but with a name like “Cattleman,” we’re picturing a slightly smoky, possibly manure-adjacent aroma. Hey, at least it burns for 90+ hours. Plenty of time to… acquire the taste? For the gent who wants his home to smell less like “spa day” and more like “authentic Western film set,” this could be the… unique gift they’ve been waiting for. Just maybe crack a window.