Gentlemen, is your current bike as exciting as lukewarm dishwater? Upgrade your ride (and your street cred) with the State Bicycle Co Carbon All-Road v2 in Dusty Merlot ($2299.99). Yes, Merlot. Because why should your wine cellar have all the fun? This isn’t just a pretty face (though, let’s be honest, it is rather handsome in that Merlot hue). This gravel-gobbling machine is built for “bigger adventures,” tackling everything from “rugged trails” to “epic bikepacking trips.” Think of it as the Swiss Army knife of bikes, but sexier and in wine-inspired colours.

With tyre clearance that could swallow a small badger, “clean cable setup” (because tangled cables are so last season), and “fast geometry” (for outrunning your responsibilities), this bike is ready for anything. And at $2299.99, you’ll have plenty of cash left over for actual Merlot to celebrate your purchase. Perfect for the gent who appreciates performance, style, and a good vintage – both on and off the road.