Gentlemen, is your desk looking a tad… joyful? Inject some gravitas (and maybe a touch of glorious doom) with the Jack of the Dust Kratos Sculpture! Yes, for $799 you can own this resin rendition of… well, let’s just say a very inspired figure.

Forget mass-produced tat, each Kratos is traditionally sculpted by hand – meaning yours might be slightly wonkier than the website pic! It’s art, darling! And to prove its artisanal authenticity, it comes with its own numbered death certificate and wax seal. Morbidly magnificent! Okay, it’s fan art (wink wink, nudge nudge, God of War fans), but who needs official when you’ve got handmade resin skull-tasticness weighing in at 6lbs? Spice up your study, intimidate your interns, or just confuse your cat. The Jack of the Dust Kratos – because sometimes, a gentleman needs a tastefully terrifying desk ornament.