So, you fancy yourself an adventurer, eh? Tired of lukewarm lagers ruining your wilderness wanderings? Then behold, the ICEMULE BOSS® Cooler ($379.95)! This isn’t your flimsy picnic basket; this is a portable beverage fortress. They call it “ultimate” for a reason. We suspect that reason involves defying the laws of thermodynamics and possibly employing tiny, highly efficient ice ninjas.

This backpack cooler boasts multi-day ice retention, meaning your drinks will stay colder than a penguin’s… well, you know. With space for 24 cans (plus ice!), you can hydrate your entire expedition (or just yourself, we won’t judge). And the “best-in-class suspension system” ensures you won’t feel like you’re lugging a small glacier up a mountain. So go forth, conquer that trail, and let the ICEMULE BOSS® handle the frosty refreshments. You’re the boss now.