Gentlemen, is your current shirt failing to keep you… dry during your rigorous commute from the fridge to the couch? The Howler Brothers Open Country Tech Shirt ($95) arrives, promising adventure-readiness for pursuits both grand and… mildly ambitious.

“Open Country” might conjure images of rugged landscapes, but let’s be real, for most gents it’s the park. Fear not! This isn’t just any shirt; it’s tech. We’re talking recycled ripstop polyamide – tough enough for… errands? Weatherproof treated – for those unexpected drizzles while grabbing artisanal coffee. Loaded with features, handy compartments (presumably for protein bars and emergency beard oil), and “adjustable padded straps” – wait, straps on a shirt? Okay, maybe for the backpack adventure this shirt implies. Gift the Howler Bros Tech Shirt. Even if his “open country” is just the patio, he’ll look the part.