If your everyday carry has turned your trousers into a structural hazard, the Carry Commission Bum Bag XL (£60) is your sartorial salvation. This isn’t your grandad’s fanny pack—unless your grandad was a paratrooper.

Featuring a “beefier” buckle and a rugged 2.5″ strap, it’s built for the trail or the town. Wear it cross-body for urban flair or around the waist to embrace your “inner dad.” With laser-cut molle and room for “EDC and then some,” it’s the ultimate upgrade for the beautifully over-prepared gentleman.