Gentlemen, know a chap who’s practically fused to his favourite armchair? Or perhaps you are that gent? Then celebrate that glorious inertia with the VDGN Seven-Year Grit Tee (£52)! This isn’t just clothing; it’s a wearable medal for mastering the art of staying put.

“Celebrating 7 years of staying in one place,” this tee boldly asks the question: “If homebodies are people that like to stay home, does that make us store bodies?” Deep, we know. Crafted from a hefty 8.2 oz cotton that’s tougher than your willpower to leave the house, this oversized tee is built for maximum lounging. Features include “wide neck ribbing” (for optimal TV-watching comfort), “side seams for structure” (because even store bodies have standards), and “double-needle hems” (for surviving years of remote control retrieval missions). At £52, it’s a small price to pay for sartorial recognition of peak relaxation. Perfect for the gent who appreciates comfort, humour, and never, ever leaving the house.