Gentlemen, do you yearn for the simpler days of button-mashing and pizza-fueled turtle power? Do you have a crippling nostalgia for 1989? Then prepare to shell out some serious cash (pun intended) for this limited edition Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Quarter Arcade Cabinet ($399.99).

This isn’t just a miniature arcade game; it’s a shrine to all things TMNT. Signed by Kevin Eastman himself (co-creator of the Turtles, in case you’ve been living under a rock… or in a sewer), and limited to 350 units, it’s more collectable than a vintage pizza box. This fully playable replica even comes with its own quarter-scale stool! Because apparently, tiny turtles need tiny places to sit. And let’s not forget the certificate of authenticity and exclusive postcard, because what’s a $400 toy without some official paperwork? It’s the perfect addition to your man cave… or your ridiculously oversized shelf. Just remember to stock up on pizza – it’s essential for maximum turtle power.